You got a Crush. Their profile hooked you. And now you’re staring at your screen, not sure what to say. We get it. The first message is often the most difficult. Not because you don’t have anything to say, but because you want it to be good. To sound natural. Not too cliché. But not too intense, either.

Good news! On happn, you don’t have to start from scratch. Your Crush’s profile is a gold mine.

Read their profile as if it were their first message to you

Their hobbies, responses to teasers... they chose these things so you would see them. It’s an invitation. An open door. You don’t have to invent a new topic of conversation. They’ve already provided some for you.

A few ways to go about it

If they replied to a teaser with something surprising or unexpected, use that as a jumping-off point. Genuine curiosity is always better than some catch phrase or cliché that everyone uses. Show them you actually read it.

If they have hobbies that stand out to you, the same concerts, shows, a love of road trips... let them know. Something in common, even if it’s small, creates real connection.

On the other hand, if there’s something you’ve never heard of, even better! Ask them about it. People love talking about their interests to someone who actually wants to listen.

It works when it’s really you

There is no such thing as a perfect message. But there are messages that feel sincere, and people almost always reply to those. Ask a real question, don’t demand a response. And leave space for the conversation to go in any and every direction.

Because a conversation that starts off well is often one that looks nothing like you expected.