Here is a kind, clear guide from happn to help you recognise what contributes to a healthy, joyful connection and what might signal that something deserves attention.

The foundations of a positive relationship

Before we look at warning signs, it helps to recognise what a balanced relationship looks like. Research shows that a fulfilling connection is grounded in trust, respect, open communication, equality, and the freedom to be yourself rather than changing who you are. 

Some key points to reflect on:

• you can express yourself openly

• your choices, tastes and feelings are respected

• you trust each other

• you both keep your autonomy

• nobody dominates, controls or imposes

• you can say no and have your boundary honoured

• you work through disagreements respectfully

These may seem obvious, yet they often serve as guiding stars for figuring out what feels right—and what doesn’t.

Signals that call for your attention

Violence or abuse rarely begins with an extreme act. Often it shows up as subtle behaviours that unsettle, exhaust or isolate. Being aware of these signs can help you stay attuned to your own well-being (and that of others).

Psychological and emotional signals

• someone jokes about you in a way that leaves you feeling uneasy

• a comment makes you feel uncomfortable or small

• frequent jealousy, even without a clear reason

• an excessive reaction when you set a limit

• repeated need for you to justify yourself

Control and isolation signals

• monitoring your messages or social accounts

• repeated remarks about how you dress or present yourself

• attempts to cut you off from friends or family

• decisions made for you without your input

• pressure to respond immediately or always be available

Coercion or influence signals

• guilt used if you don’t do what the other person wants

• emotional blackmail or veiled threats

• pressure to send intimate images

• attempts to make you doubt yourself

Explicit violence signals

• gestures that go beyond your consent

• threats, shouting or humiliation

• physical violence (even mild)

• threats to share private images

The goal here is not to scare you — it’s to help you feel more equipped to make sense of your feelings and situation.

Why we’re talking about this

If something makes you uneasy, uncomfortable or unsettled, you are not alone, and you don’t have to face it solo. The fact that you’re questioning your experience is already a signal. You have every right to step back, to ask for help, to get a second opinion, or simply listen more closely to how you feel.

Links & resources

For confidential support or more information about healthy relationships, you may contact local associations and trustworthy online resources.

You deserve relationships that enhance who you are, not diminish you.