Dating has always been an adventure. But there’s one step we often underestimate: introspection. We’re not saying you need to go on a yoga retreat without your phone for three weeks. But take a minute to think about what you actually expect from yourself and others. Because getting started on a dating app without knowing what you want can result in a lot of frustration. You hesitate to like profiles; you have no clue what to write on your own profile…

Today, we’re here to help you reflect with three easy questions. Once you have an answer to each one, your experience could become much easier. And who knows, Crushes may appear sooner than you thought.

Disclaimer: you need to find your own answer to each question, but there are no right or wrong answers. Only YOUR answer.

How do you feel?

This seems like a pretty basic question. But it’s where we all start. How can you meet someone if you don’t feel ok about yourself? You can always try, sure. But it’s like going to a job interview when you’re completely burned out. You don’t show your true self. Nor your best self. Before starting to date, take some time to check in with yourself. Do you enjoy your life and feel like you belong? Do you feel ready to share your energy with another person? Before expecting anything from someone else, make sure you’re at peace with yourself. Your relationship status should never define your happiness.

What type of relationship do you want?

On happn, you can find different types of relationships. Friendship. A one-night stand. A serious relationship. Or something in between. All of these options are possible. And all of them are valid. You can choose several, and you might not be totally sure. But taking a minute to think about what you really want allows you to be more honest with yourself and others. Nothing is more frustrating than dating someone who is not on the same wavelength. And there’s good news: long gone are the days when you had to be ashamed about saying what you really want. Today, people expect clarity and honesty above all. It’s the best way to attract someone who is looking for the same thing as you.

Are you looking in the right place?

A Crush can start with something small. A photo, a smile, a style. But today, a profile can say so much more. On happn, profiles let you go beyond appearances. You can discover someone’s musical tastes, their habits, favorite shows, and most exciting travels. You can even see the neighborhoods where they love to spend time in your city. All of these details are there to help you imagine a real connection. Of course, you can also let yourself be surprised by someone who is very different from you. But taking time to look at these small clues can sometimes lead to completely unexpected encounters.

In other words, you’re free to look for whoever and whatever you want.

But sometimes, the starting point is not the other person. It’s you.

And we can promise you one thing: making the effort is rarely a waste of time.

A final piece of advice before you get started: don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Dating is a human experience. We all have flaws, awkward moments, and surprises.

Relationships are not lists of items to be checked off.

They are sometimes imperfect, often funny, and, above all, an experience.

Why not start yours?